Bereaved Parent s Wish List
(Author Unknown)

1. I wish my child hadn't died. I wish I had my child back.

2. I wish you wouldn't be afraid to speak my child s name. My child lived and was very important to me. I need
to hear that my child was important to you also.

3. If I cry and get emotional when you talk about my child I wish you knew that it isn't because you have hurt
me. My child s death is the cause of my tears. You have talked about my child and you have allowed me to
share my grief. I thank you for both.

4. I wish you wouldn't kill my child again by removing my child s pictures, artwork or other remembrances from
your home.

5. Being a bereaved parent is not contagious, so I wish you wouldn't shy away from me. I need you now more
than ever.

6. I need diversions, so I do want to hear about you, but I also want you to hear about me. I might be sad and I
might cry, but I wish you would let me talk about my child, my favorite topic of the day.

7. I know that you think I also know that my child s death pains you, too. I wish you would let me know those
things through a phone call, a card or a note, or a real big hug.

8. I wish you wouldn't expect my grief to be over in six months. These first months are traumatic for me, but I
wish you could understand that my grief will never be over. I will suffer the death of my child until the day I die.

9. I am working very hard in my recovery, but I wish you could understand that I will never fully recover. I will
always miss my child and I will always grieve that my child is dead.

10. I wish you wouldn't expect me not to think about it or to be happy , neither will happen for a very long time,
so don t frustrate yourself.

11. I don t want to have a party , but I do wish you would let me grieve. I must hurt before I can heal.

12. I wish you understood how my life has shattered. I know it is miserable for you to be around me when I m
feeling miserable. Please be as patient with me as I am with you.

13. When I say, I m doing okay, I wish you could understand that I struggle daily.

14. I wish you knew that all of the grief reactions I m having are very normal. Depression, anger, hopelessness
and overwhelming sadness are to be expected. So please excuse me when I m quiet and withdrawn or irritable
and cranky.

15. Your advice to take one day at a time is excellent advice. However, a day is too much and too fast for me
right now. I wish you could understand that I m doing well to handle and hour at a time.

16. Please excuse me if I seem rude, certainly not my intent. Sometimes the world around me goes too fast and
I need to get off. When I walk away, I wish you would let me find a quiet place to spend time alone.

17. I wish you understood that grief changes people. When my child died, a big part of me died with him/her. I
am not the same person I was before my child died and I will never be that person again.

18. I wish very much that you could understand  my loss and my grief, my silence and my tears, my void and
my pain. BUT, I pray daily that you will never understand.
Bereaved Parents Wish List